


Love Lost Across Time

by itssoverynicetomeetyou



Series: Love Across Time [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Character Death, F/F, The Doctor is trying to comfort her, Yaz lost the love of her life, and we don't see the death just deal with the consequences, but an OC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-30 03:37:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17216288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itssoverynicetomeetyou/pseuds/itssoverynicetomeetyou
Summary: She screamed, and she was gone. Gone from Yaz's life forever. How can she go on? How will she ever forgive the Doctor?Basically the end of my other fic, Lost Across Time which I'm letting go but the whole point of that fic was this scene and I can't get it out of my head and I just have to write it so yeah. This works on it's own, no need to read the other fic.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I think I covered everything in the summary, the only other thing is Annie (Yaz's love) is from 1665. Annie and Yaz met in November 1665, then for REASONS the Doctor accidentally left Yaz behind in history for 10 months. Then Team TARDIS is finally reunited, only for aliens to happen and Annie sacrifice herself to save them. That's all the backstory (and spoilers for Love across time lol).

Yaz’s scream broke the Doctor’s hearts. It was a scream of anguish, a scream of pain, a scream of something in her soul breaking, never to be whole again. The Doctor knew that scream. She’d screamed it herself more times than she dared count. It was the scream of knowing you’d never see your love again.

The aliens, the Doctor didn’t deign to call them by their name, they were all soulless in her eyes. The aliens started towards their group of four and she called for them to run for the TARDIS. Ryan and Graham, though shocked by what they’d seen, managed to get their feet moving. The Doctor didn’t even try to leave; she knew Yaz would need more than a panicked shout to get her moving.

“Yaz.” The Doctor said her name urgently, hoping it would be enough. It wasn’t. “Yaz!” She stepped closer, putting a hand on her friend’s shoulder. Yaz remained still, staring at the last patch of air her love had fallen through before she fell out of sight. If only the sound at the end had been shielded as well. The aliens were getting too close; the Doctor had to act fast.

“PC Khan, we need to move. Now.” At last, Yaz turned around and started to move towards the TARDIS, but her eyes were dead, unseeing of anything but the end goal. Maybe that was for the best, the Doctor thought. The less there is to remember, maybe the sooner you can come to terms with it. She knew she was lying to herself, but it was all she could do to keep herself moving. Hope that Yaz would forgive her.

She all but threw Yaz inside the TARDIS, not stopping until she barrelled into the console and threw the controls to get them safely into flight. Only then did she pause and look back at her friends. Ryan and Graham looked confused, but knew something major had just happened. The Doctor didn’t know exactly what happened either, Yaz had been alone in history for over ten months. But that scream… it was simple enough to know the woman had meant the world to Yaz.

Yaz still hadn’t moved, crumpled in the pile she’d landed in. Ryan crouched down and tapped her shoulder, trying to raise a smile, but Yaz didn’t acknowledge him. Graham watched the two worriedly before looking to the Doctor.

Right. Time to take charge.

“Give us some time.” The Doctor nodded at the corridor leading further into the TARDIS. Graham and Ryan almost ran for it in their relief to get away from the situation. It wasn’t that they didn’t care about Yaz, it was just too much for their brains to process. They’d seen her less than half an hour ago, bemused at the amount of grime a Victorian kitchen could deposit on her within a couple of hours. The disparity between that Yaz and who they’d just left… it was too much to handle.

The Doctor waited for the others to get out of earshot. At least, that’s what she told herself. In reality, she was desperately trying to stop the march of faces that had made her scream like Yaz. She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. Not now, she told her loves. Not now.

Crossing the gap between them in a few strides, she crouched down next to Yaz and placed a hand on her back, gently rubbing it in what she hoped was a soothing motion. Beneath her, Yaz gave some shaky breaths before shrugging the hand off. That hurt. Trying to ignore the weight in her stomach, the Doctor went back to the console and pumped the biscuit pedal a few times.


	2. Chapter 2

A slightly crumbly custard cream waved in her vision, softly batting her on the nose before dropping to the floor. Yaz couldn’t feel enough to do anything about it so it sat there, crumbs blowing off with each breath.

“You need some sugar.” The Doctor said. “It helps.” Her tone was stilted, distant. Yaz couldn’t bring herself to care. Another biscuit was shoved into her vision, less playful than before. “Come on.”

Silence. Even the TARDIS was quiet. She knew her thief was grieving her own losses as well as trying to comfort a new stray. She gently warmed the floorplate beneath the Doctor, hoping it would give some solace. She was rewarded with a teary smile at her ceiling. Hoping it would help the new stray, she spread the warmth across to underneath the other body.

The heat made something snap inside Yaz. Suddenly, she could feel. Only one feeling, but still. She could _feel_ something.

“We’re nothing to you, aren’t we?” She rolled onto her side to look at the Doctor. The Doctor’s look of bewilderment fanned the flames inside her and white-hot anger burning through her veins. “Your life is so long, we must seem like mayflies.” She stood, shaking a little. The Doctor followed her, reaching forward when the shakes got too big.

“No,” Yaz stepped back, ignoring the hurt that crossed the Doctor’s face. “We’re just playthings for you, something to amuse yourself with as you live across all time!” The Doctor tried to say something but Yaz kept talking, not letting her in. “I was lost there for so long, I didn’t know when or even if you would come back. You abandoned me! I tried to follow your rules for history, but it all went wrong and I had to…” Yaz stopped, her hand trailing the burn that still ran up her arm. “And just when I realised you were never coming back, let myself love her, knowing we’d never be apart again-” Bile forced its way up Yaz’s throat and she fought to keep it down.

“Yaz, I’m so sorry.” The Doctor croaked. “I know it’s not enough, it’ll never be enough, but I really am. I never meant for any of this to happen. Least of all for you to get stuck, for you to get hurt like this.”

“What about Annie? Do you not care about her?” Yaz shouted, daring the Doctor to take the bait.

“You were never meant to meet!” The Doctor didn’t mean to take the bait, didn’t mean to shout, but all the changes in history were making her head hurt. It was nothing major, no fixed points were changed, but small things still mattered. Friendships lost, families losing touch, new friends being made. She put a hand to her head to try and ease the pain. “History is changing because you were there-”

“It wasn’t like I had a choice! You just swanned off without me!” Yaz’s voice cracked. “You didn’t even say goodbye.” And like that, the fire had gone. Yaz sagged in on herself, this time not protesting when the Doctor reached forward and caught her, gently guiding her to the ground.

Yaz cried like a child, clinging to the Doctor and soaking through her coat to the t-shirt underneath. It was impossible for the Doctor to not feel the sobs rack through her thin body; those ten months hadn’t been kind to Yaz. Not enough food, a clear burn up her arm – how badly had she failed her friend?

After what felt like hours, Yaz quietened, allowing the Doctor to gently stretch her stiff limbs.

“I didn’t tell you how we met.” The Doctor started at her quiet voice. All the anger had gone, and most of the sadness. Yaz was just… wistful. Replaying fond memories. “Those aliens that had you running off way back when we first arrived, one of them went towards her. I didn’t know what it was going to do so I pushed her out the way. Turns out it wanted to vomit.” The Doctor hurriedly hid a snort, but Yaz started giggling. “First time she ever saw me, I was covered in alien puke!” The Doctor joined in the laughter, aware that tears had started to flow with Yaz’s laughs.

The two sat like that for a while, one re-telling memories and the other laughing or crying as they came. The only thing that stopped them was the TARDIS whirring into flight.

Both of them jumped and turned towards the console, the Doctor half expecting to see the woman she’d been thinking of all this time. All of Yaz’s stories made her hearts ache for River. But now wasn’t the time to talk about her. Yaz needed her own space to grieve and the Doctor was only too glad that she let the Doctor in.

Almost as soon as the engines started, they stopped and the doors swung open. The Doctor gave a fond smile at the ceiling when she saw the scene outside. A swollen red giant shone in front of them, hanging in space as if it was frozen in time.

“Where are we?” Yaz asked, her heart still recovering from hearing the TARDIS engines. The last time she’d heard them, she’d been dumped in the dregs of history.

“You said you felt like a mayfly compared to me.” The Doctor replied quietly. Yaz opened her mouth but the Doctor gave her a fond smile. “More or less, that’s what you said. And it’s true, human lives are a fraction of what mine could be, but you’re wrong about being a mayfly.” She shifted her grip on Yaz just as the star collapsed in on itself, sending out a shockwave that the TARDIS groaned and fought against. A brilliant light filled the console room, momentarily blinding them. When the light subsided, a beautiful array of clouds lay around them, enveloping them in a spectrum of light.

“You’re a supernova, and I can never tear myself away from the beauty, even after it’s all over.”

 

My candle burns at both ends

It will not last the night

But ah my foes and oh my friends

It gives a lovely light

                                - Roald Dahl


End file.
